BREAKING NBA FREE AGENCY NEWS

Twitter and ESPN tell me that LeBron James likely will announce later today that he'll be signing with the Miami Heat, where he'll join Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. After signing three top-tier free agents to max (or close-to-the-max) contracts, Miami won't have much money left to sign many of its remaining 10 free agents or to sign other veteran free agents from other teams. The Heat will have to surround the Big Three with rookies, Mario Chalmers, Michael Beasley, and journeymen who are willing to play for the league minimum.

With that in mind, I have an announcement to make: I am interested in signing with the Miami Heat and playing for the league minimum. Pat Riley, if you have reservations about making this happen, consider the following:

• If you sign LeBron, are you really going to have enough money left over to sign anyone better than me? (Don't answer that.)


• I once hit 81 consecutive free throws during my lunch break. You might as well sign me just to have someone to take technical foul shots.


• I was the sixth man on a six-man team that won the C-league intramural title at the University of Evansville in 1999. So I know what it takes to win championships.

I've decided to be #33, in honor of Larry Bird.