I'm Not Ready to Accept the Vanilla Frosty™

I spent six consecutive summers in high school and college helping the late Dave Thomas (may he rest in peace) fulfill his dream of good food, made fresh to order, for low prices. Though I haven't eaten meat in nearly six years, I maintain that Wendy's has the best burgers and chicken sandwiches in the business—at least better than those served by chief rivals McDonald's and Burger King. I took pride in serving hamburgers that were served fresh off an actual grill and real, whole-breast chicken (as opposed to processed circular patties).

I also took a lot of pride in the Frosty™. The Frosty™ is somewhat unique in that it isn't really ice cream, but it isn't really a milkshake. And until recently, the Frosty™ came in one flavor: chocolate. Actually, I never gave much thought to the Frosty's chocolate flavor. A Frosty tasted like a Frosty, and there was no need to describe the flavor because there was only one.

I confess that I used to scoff at customers who inquired about Frosty™ flavors or ordered a vanilla- or strawberry-flavored version of the frozen dessert. I was often tempted to say: "It's a Frosty™! Haven't you ever had a Frosty™ before? The Frosty™ comes in one flavor—always has always will." (I may have actually said that, or something to the same effect, once or twice. I had very little patience with customers who didn't know how to order.)

Last year, Wendy's introduced the Vanilla Frosty™. Today, I ordered my first Frosty™ since the restaurant began offering vanilla as a second flavor. (I'm embarrassed to say it's been so long; but as a vegetarian, I haven't been to Wendy's much since they got rid of the Fresh Stuffed Pitas.) I was aware of the Vanilla Frosty™; but I couldn't bring myself to specify a flavor when I ordered. I just said, "Two medium Frosties," and hoped that the person on speaker would default to chocolate. She didn't; and I had to answer the question, "Chocolate or vanilla?" After spending much of my mid-to-late adolescence shaking my head in disgust at anyone who even pondered the existence of a Vanilla Frosty™, I had to clarify that I wanted chocolate, not vanilla. It was a weird moment.