Choose Your Jesus

A company called Fishermen, Inc. is introducing a line of anachronistic Jesus figurines in which the Messiah, in his crown of thorns and biblical-era robe, is cast in several current-day roles: a biker, a football player, a panhandler, a surfer, and so on. Toy collectors can have a virtual Village People lineup of Jesuses.

Each Jesus has an "I Am" name. "I Am Hope," the panhandler Jesus, an obvious allusion to Matthew 25:31-40 ("Just as you did it to one of the least of these . . . you did it to me"), makes a lot of sense. But I don't really understand "I Am Faith," the football-playing Jesus. The relationship beween football and faith is tenuous at best. I'm also not sure about "I Am Peace," Jesus in army fatigues holding a dove. What statement is this Jesus making? Pro military? Anti military? I can't figure it out. I like "I Am Spirit," the surfer Jesus; but there is also a skateboarding Jesus ("I Am Youth") and a rock-climber Jesus ("I Am Life"). One extreme sport, in my opinion, would have been sufficient.

At any rate, I will not be adorning my desk with these Jesuses because of the price tag. Accessorized Jesuses (those that come with a bike, a wave, and so forth) are $35.00; non-accessorized Jesuses are $25.00.