Sometimes It's Best to Stay Indoors

Some of my worst memories of college at the University of Evansville involve sitting on the lawn outside of Hyde Hall because my classmates convinced a professor that holding class indoors on such a nice day would be tragic. (This only ever happened in writing and literature classes.) Free from the tyranny of air conditioning and back support, we would struggle to focus on the voices of the professor and our fellow students, distracted by insects, by the sounds of passersby and traffic, and by squirrels. Yes, the squirrels were the worst. During these outdoor class sessions the squirrels, sitting far above me, would pelt me with half-eaten walnuts. This happened on several occasions. I was their favorite target. I would get up and move, and they would find me. They would find me and, with a hard-shelled nut coated in the saliva of a woodland rodent, they would remind me that the land now sitting at 1800 Lincoln Avenue in Evansville, Indiana belonged to them long before the Methodists decided to put a college there.

That said, it was with great pleasure that I read this article by Slate's Juliet Lapidos titled "Let's Go See a Movie in the Park!I've got a better idea: Let's not." Here's a highlight:

My friends may never again invite me to an outdoor film festival, but you, dear reader, will surely field such an offer sometime soon. When the subject comes up, explain that you've heard of an even better venue for movie-watching. You can sit in a comfortable chair, there's air conditioning, pitch darkness, and it's considered common courtesy to pipe down when the previews come on.

Read the whole thing.